The reality of it is I'm still in awe.

Balmain x H&M embellished jacket, skirt from Landmark Department store, heeled sandals from Urban Outfitters
Photography #byjonastamayo

Warning. Long fangirl post ahead.

Early in May this year, H&M confirmed its designer collaboration with Balmain and its release on November 5. I knew as early as then, this was a collection I was going to watch out pine for, and the countdown to November 5 began. 

 As the release date drew near, bits and pieces of the collaboration were released. From Kendall and Jourdan’s appearance with Olivier Rousteing on the red carpet for 2015 Billboard Music Awards, to the release of the official lookbook, to the New York Runway Show last October 20 (Well, 21 in the morning in our timezone. Thank you, Periscope, for existing, and OMG Backstreet Boys!). Until finally, the eve of the release. 

 I lined up outside SM Megamall before midnight. I was 34th in line. Bless Paolo DS for sacrificing a comfortable night’s sleep, as he voluntarily spent his on the pavement with me. Long story short, eventually, I was able to purchase this embellished jacket (The last one in my size!) after months of waiting and saving. View the snap story here.

 Through the discomfort of it all and the triumph in the end, I couldn’t help but ponder on Essena O’Neill’s backlash on bloggers and/or online influencers for their alleged distortion of reality on social media. Several local bloggers and famous personalities, after all, were invited to the VIP launch of #HMBALMAINATION just hours before I got in line, and I couldn’t help but wonder if most of them had been as eager about the collaboration as I was. If they had purchased what they had just for the sake of having something (or several things) from the collection, or if this was something they had really been wanting. If they attended the launch just to be seen and to have something to show on social media. Most importantly though, how different would the experience and the sense of gratification be for me had I been the one handed such an easy access to the embellished jacket I had been coveting for months?

I guess I'll never be able to tell. But for now, I’m grateful that I had to do what I did just to get that jacket. Finally being able to have it is so much more meaningful because of the memory of the entire experience. The reality is that I still get a sense of awe every time I wear it, even just in front of my bedroom mirror. Every time--a renewed sense of culmination of months worth of waiting, and saving, and pining. The pictures on this post? These are just an added bonus.

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